You Can Tell What A Person Is By How He Treats Waiters
Never judge a book by its cover, as the old saying goes, but sometimes we need to complete a snap judgment of what a person truly is anyway. Some use the more obvious cues, such as a person’s clothing, hygiene, or jewelry. Others prefer more subtle hints; for men, the Shiny Shoes Theory, or how a person maintains his shoes [A Philippine retailing tycoon reputedly uses this technique - Ed.] supplies many answers. Of course, nothing beats how a person interacts with you, but people can be easily fooled by practiced gestures, sweet talk, and honeyed words.
How your opposite number treats waiters and other service staff, however, may be a more reliable yardstick of a person’s character, as Bill Swanson, chairman of Raytheon, explains:
“”Watch out for people who have a situational value system, who can turn the charm on and off depending on the status of the person they are interacting with,” Swanson writes. “Be especially wary of those who are rude to people perceived to be in subordinate roles.”"
Swanson wrote a book, Swanson’s Unwritten Rules of Management [A real, paper book which you can order free of charge by ordering from Raytheon's site - Ed.] which bluntly says, “A person who is nice to you but rude to the waiter, or to others, is not a nice person.”
It’s an observation many top executives agree with:
“Just about every CEO has a waiter story to tell. Dave Gould, CEO of Witness Systems, experienced the rule firsthand when a waitress dumped a full glass of red wine on the expensive suit of another CEO during a contract negotiation. The victim CEO put her at ease with a joke about not having had time to shower that morning. A few days later, when there was an apparent impasse during negotiations, Gould trusted that CEO to have the character to work out any differences.
“CEOs who blow up at waiters have an ego out of control, Gould says. “They’re saying, ‘I’m better. I’m smarter.’ Those people tend not to be collaborative.”"
Few doubt its efficacy:
“Such behavior is an accurate predictor of character because it isn’t easily learned or unlearned but rather speaks to how people were raised, says Siki Giunta, CEO of U.S. technology company Managed Objects, a native of Rome who once worked as a London bartender.”
Indeed.
I wholeheartedly agree with that.
In a similar vein, it’s said that the way a man treats his mother is the way he’ll treat his wife.
I remember reading something as a child: Be careful how you treat those you pass on your way up; they will be the same people you pass on your way down.
So true Paul — I’ve always been wary of those who treat badly others who are of no consequence to them.
Yes, I agree. There’s even a saying that goes something like, you can tell who a person really is when he’s out of his comfort zone. A good person is consistent—he’s good to everyone. I’ve had experiences with bosses who are only nice with employees in managerial or supervisory levels but rude to janitors, utility men, and regulars. And I would often think how they ever reached their position.
I suppose it really boils down to how a person is brought up.
A lesson for parents everywhere.
[...] I must be one of the very last who received printed copies of Swanson’s Unwritten Rules of Management. Penned by Raytheon CEO Bill Swanson, the booklet contains 33 common-sense management rules and insights, one of which – the waiter rule – I quoted with approval in an earlier entry. Its publication was hailed by many in and out of the blogosphere. [...]